The American People Speak!

Listen to the voices of the people. America has spoken, which side are you on?

Tea Party Takes Over Washington

Tonight, the best in American Democracy made their way to the US Capital to have their grievances heard. God was on their side as they tried to smite those liberal socialists and their big government takeover. They had seen and heard enough of these elitist Ivy Leaguers and their Cap and Trade, Big Funding Act, and fear for the environment. The tea partiers told the Democrats to stop fearing for the trees and to start fearing for America's children. They were tired of the Democrats disrespect for Senate procedures and of their disrespect for the great American heroes on the Senate, the conservative Republicans. God was on the side of the Tea Party tonight. Let's hope that the Senate heard their call and begins to enact legislation that reflects the true values and beliefs of real Americans. The fate of the country depends on it. Real Americans do not want a socialist tyranny to takeover our environment and our education. They want American, conservative values to prevail. Tonight, hope was renewed for the revival of America.

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BREAKING: Boxer Apologizes for Destroying Democracy, Republicans Considering Options

The Minority Leader and the Ranking Member of the Environment and Public Works Committee received this email from Senator Barbara Boxer in the middle of the night:

Dear Senators McConnell and Inhofe,

I’m writing to sincerely apologize for what happened tonight. I abused my power, and showed a lack of respect for the work we all did together until late in the night. It was irresponsible and a violation of trust for me to adjourn without considering more legislation, and to unfairly use the parliamentary power I was granted for legislative ends.

I want to extend an additional apology for my ill-judged action as committee chair. It is my sole responsibility to maintain order, decorum, and a fair environment for our committee. Tonight, I failed in that capacity. I sincerely apologize.

I truly hope that we can put this incident in perspective. I’m confident that we can all benefit by coming back together and working through the legislation that we all worked hard on. My view is that the best approach would be for a few people from each caucus to get together before the simulation, and figure out a road map to get your legislation on the floor. Of course, please let me know if you have any other ideas.

Again, I extend my sincerest apologies, and please convey my sentiments to the rest of your caucus.

All the best,

Senator Barbara Boxer

The Minority Leader says he is consulting with his leadership and his caucus, and is considering several options. While Senator McConnell appreciates the apology, he views it as less than adequate. "The procedures that adjourned the EPW committee were clearly premeditated," Mr. McConnell said. "It's one thing to apologize for doing something you didn't mean to. It's an entirely different thing to apologize for something you meant to do and don't like the blowback of. The American people and the people of Kentucky understand that. Why can't EPW Democrats?

FACT: Barbara Boxer Opposes Democracy

Ruling it a procedural matter, Barbara Boxer (photo at right) overturned the majority of her committee to adjourn early. The result: no debate or votes on Republican bills. This is a travesty, an abuse and a desperate tactic by a party precariously close to losing its Congressional majority. Spectators await what whip Richard Burr characterizes as an "immediate and forceful" Republican procedural response. One wonders whether the "Democrats" understand what a committed Republican Conference can do. I predict it won't take long before Boxer regrets this fascist gamble.

Senator McConnell (R-KY) Comments on Specter's Switch

Senate Education Committee Wasting Time due to Democratic Stalling

Wednesday night, the Senate committee on Education Reform HELP was brought to a halt due to the ineffectiveness and inexperience of the Democratic Senators. The Democratic Senators forgot to include the enacting clause which allows bills to become law. How could U.S. legislators omit such a fundamental part of legislative language in a bill? I tell you why: the Democrats are inexperienced, grade-inflated law-scholars who obviously fell asleep during fundamental lessons. In order to compensate for their error, the Democratic Senators began stalling using every tatic at their disposal, INCLUDING LADY GAGA! I REPEAT LADY GAGA!

Senator Crapo (R-ID) Plays Integral Role in Reviving Yucca Mountain Project

Senator Crapo and the subcommittee on nuclear energy have salvaged taxpayer dollars and renew the possibility of a legitmate nuclear contribution to the American energy grid. The political skills of the Republican Senators have convinced the majority of Democratic Senators to accept the re-opening of Yucca Moutain. The honorable Senator Crapo (R-ID) convinced Senator Reid (D-NV) to support this decision by legislating an innovative approach to transferring hazardous nuclear waste by way of a secured rail system (trains).